Mom & Me Feature: Jo Funderburk; Bud Strong!

Jo Funderburk

Bub Strong

“Please be a boy, please be a boy, please be a boy…” during the early days of my pregnancy with Bub, that was the silent prayer that I’d recite daily. I’d sit at my work desk, cradling my stomach and repeat those words in my head over and over. Looking back; I now realize that it was a selfish prayer. I probably should’ve just been asking God for a healthy baby and not worried about the sex. But with everything that I had just endured, my desire for a son was overwhelming. I needed this dream to come to fruition.

This was my second pregnancy. Eight months prior, I lost my first son Bryant; due to a premature birth. I had been diagnosed with an incompetent cervix and it caused me to go into preterm labor; just shy of five months pregnant. It was a sudden, unexpected and devastating loss. Still heartbroken, I felt like the only thing that could pull me out of that dark place would be the son that I had so desperately yearned for. So, when my doctor confirmed that I was indeed carrying another boy at my 16-week checkup, I was ecstatic. I cried tears of joy and thought that although my pregnancy was high risk, the stress and anxiety that I was experiencing would soon become a distant memory.

I was so wrong.

Bub was born on July 4, 2016 via c-section. As soon as my son was placed in my arms I felt complete. I was finally a mom and relished in that moment. I was in a lot of pain, but the fact that he was here and healthy made it all worth it. Our first day together was glorious. We nursed a lot, slept a little, took a million pictures and began skin to skin bonding. I was on cloud nine.

Trouble didn’t show up until day three. It started with his circumcision. His dad and I had actually gone back and forth over whether or not we wanted to do it but ultimately decided to go for it. His doctors ensured us that it was a quick and easy process and that he would feel minimal discomfort. They whisked him away to do the procedure and he was brought back into our room about 45 minutes later. If all went well, we were supposed to be discharged the following afternoon. We mostly slept for the rest of the day and it wasn’t until later that night that we first noticed a problem. Bub’s dad went to change his diaper and it was soiled with blood. We knew to expect a little bleeding due to the circumcision, but this was way more than a little. The entire inside of his diaper was a bright, crimson red. Bub’s dad yelled for the nurse and she came rushing in. After taking one look at his diaper she gasped and paged the doctor. Everything happened so fast and, in an instant, our lives were changed forever.

Hemophilia was never on my radar. I guess I was so consumed with the circumstances surrounding my pregnancy and the fact that Bub was my rainbow baby, I didn’t even consider the possibility of my child inheriting a genetic disease. My first cousin has hemophilia, but he lives in Georgia. Growing up, we never really went into detail about his diagnosis and what it meant. All I knew was that it was a blood disorder and that he couldn’t play contact sports or else he’d get hurt really badly.

The moment Bub’s doctor came into the room he began to question me about my family history. He asked me if it was a possibility that I could be a carrier of the hemophilia gene and I told him that I had no idea, I had never even been tested for it. Meanwhile, Bub had already been taken to the NICU and doctors were frantically trying to stop the bleeding which had gotten much worse. They tried everything from stitches to silver nitrate… but he bled through it all. Finally, they decided that he needed to be transported to Johns Hopkins Children’s Hospital because they were better equipped to treat high risk patients. But before he could even get transferred there, he had a seizure.

As all of this was going down, I honestly thought that I was going to die from an anxiety attack. I was on an emotional roller coaster and I couldn’t figure out why God would allow for so many traumatic experiences to occur in my life back to back. I had barely recovered from the death of my first son and here I was again, faced with that same possibility. I couldn’t even process everything that was going on and at one point I mentally checked out. I don’t know if it was the narcotic pain meds or the mental trauma that I was enduring but everything just went blank.

The next few days felt like a never-ending nightmare. My son was transferred to Hopkins and admitted into the NICU unit. Doctors put him under a medical sedation and over the course of four days he underwent a blood transfusion, an MRI and an EEG to monitor his brain activity. They formally diagnosed him with Severe Hemophilia A and gave his father and I a crash course on what having the disorder meant.

In laymen’s terms, my son is missing a clotting gene in his blood. This means that the slightest injury or cut could cause him to suffer and bleed severely. It’s a lifelong disorder and as of today, there is no cure. The only way to treat it is by injecting him with a lab-made clotting factor three times a week and after every major fall or injury. Hemophilia is an X-linked genetic disorder, which means that it’s passed from mother to son on the X chromosome. Since I did not know that I was a carrier, I indirectly passed the disorder to him.

Hearing his doctor explain all of this to us was a lot to take in. I was consumed with guilt and I just remember crying until I felt numb. Even though I had no way of knowing that this would happen, I still felt like everything was my fault. After spending one long week in the NICU, we were finally cleared and discharged. And while that nightmare ended, real life had just begun…

That was almost two years ago. Since then, we’ve certainly had our share of ups and downs but overall, my son is thriving. He is incredibly smart, extremely active and the biggest flirt ever. We’ve been blessed enough to connect with some wonderful families via social media and through our local Hemophilia chapter, who are raising sons with the disorder as well. Thankfully, he has had no seizure activity since that day in the NICU. He got a port placed in his chest back in November (read about that experience here) and it’s made our lives so much easier. Prior to him getting the port, we would have to travel to the hospital 2-3 times a week for his treatments to be administered intravenously. It was a grueling process for me and a painful process for him. Now that he has the port, I can administer all his treatments at home and independently.

I have become his advocate and he is my hero.  In his short time here, my son has already taught me so much about life. He is a shining example of bravery, resilience and strength. I pray that by being so transparent and sharing our story, we are able to help another family who may be going through the same thing. Of course, sometimes it does get tough, but through it all we will always remain #BubStrong.

Mommy Feature Monday: Artesha Welch; validate yourself

So hey i’m a mom 🙂 I saw this post a couple months ago on instagram that read, “A mother who radiates self- love and self acceptance actually vaccinates her daughter against low self esteem .” – Naomi Wolf. I know first hand the effects of placing doubt upon oneself, and how it can shape your life. My eyes have opened a lot the older i became and the journey of motherhood has heightened my self awareness to the tenth power lol. I am a first generation american with Garifuna/ Belizean roots. I’ve always known two different worlds, and two different perspectives. As a young girl growing up i guess i struggled with identity, and having a sense of belonging between cultures. “Maybe i have made mistakes and been through my fair share of pain but all in all its been okay i’ve lived well.” Quote from Jhene Aiko’s song Eternal Sunshine explains in a short sentence the remainder of my life up to now lol. My trails have built me into a splendid well guided, intelligent, loving, and persevering young woman. I have been a mother to my daughter for one year and three months and I am proud. She was destined to come into my life. During gestation i went into a spiritual journey. I went inward and pinpointed every cycle from generations before me where some adjustments had to be made with how this child is raised with mental, emotional, and spiritual support. I am naturally a nurturing person, and id say wise on some topics. A Lot of things I heard and seen as a child I knew from childhood not to repeat certain cycles around my own children. I have been a stay at home mom for a year and i’ve quickly learned that not everyone around you will be to pleased with the idea of “a stay at home mom” and can even look down on you for not working. I personally am blessed to have a support system that provides the environment for me to be there for my daughter. I see that Self acceptance will be a lifelong project. While battling fears, and turning and molding my past traumas into a power to utilize for self empowerment i still shake a little when i get thrown blows. My concern is do I radiate self love enough for my daughter to see? Do I radiate self acceptance enough for my daughter to see? Because the things some folks have spoken about me, I had to seek the real message within their words. “Malatani” is a garifuna word in my culture which means, worthless, can’t achieve anything, and weak was used to describe me by an elder who doesn’t even know me like that. So i received my message loud and clear. It was a tough pill to swallow but the message was a positive one. Or so i took it. I am excited for all that’s to come through listening to my intuition and putting in the work because at least i can still carry on and continue to create my destiny and embody the example for my daughter so that she too can be Resilient, radiate self love, and most importantly self acceptance. It is inevitable that offenses shall come. That’s why my daughter is being taught emotional intelligence. Maybe for the sake of my child it’s time i also change my tribe. I have a lifetime of work to achieve and it involves mental, emotional, and spiritual empowerment of oneself. As a mother its a value of mines to be very conscious of how i “ SUPPORT” my children. I see my level of awareness as revolutionary, and so intend on raising revolutionary children. To all stay at home mother’s how long did it take for you to develop a lifestyle routine and income that works for the type of parenting you want to achieve?

Mommy feature Monday: Natasha Nelson cloth diapering Mama!

Hey Moms have you ever considered using cloth diapers? If not, would you if you knew the ins and outs? This Mondays mommy feature is Natasha Nelson from Riley, Kansas. Natasha is a proud cloth diapering mama. Rather than using disposable diapers that must be purchased repeatedly Natasha has purchased a very versatile stash of cloth diapers and wipes that can be used, washed, and used again. This mom is saving big bucks while protecting little Ms. Paris’s bum from chemicals and lowering the risk of diaper rash drastically.

Natasha is mom to three-month-old doll baby Paris Rose Nelson. I ran across Natasha’s page looking at mom’s profiles on Instagram who hash tagged mom life in their pictures (it’s my fav hashtag lol). Natasha shines bright and is doing her thing while sharing her mom life journey. She shares about life as wife, veteran, and devoted cloth diapering mom. When I saw that Natasha did not use disposable diapers I was shocked! I know cloth diapering is not unheard of however; I had never actually encountered a parent that strictly used cloth diapers let alone occasionally. I was truly intrigued and had so many questions. I sent Natasha a couple of the questions I had as well as questions I thought other parents may have about her cloth diapering journey.

Without further ado, here are the deets about Natasha’s cloth diapering journey:

1. How did you get into cloth diapering? • I was stationed in Germany when I was in the military. I decided to get out of the military in Germany while my husband continued in the Army. Most of the mothers I interacted with used cloth diapers, breastfed, and baby wore. I researched and considered all three, before even trying to have children.

2. Which cloth diaper style do you prefer? (DIY or the ones that have buttons) • If I could only use one style, it would be pocket diapers. They still have the convenience of disposables that my husband needs, and they allow me to adjust the absorbency to our needs at the time. Throughout the day, we can just use microfiber inserts since I change her every 2 hours. However, during naps and night sleeping I must add more absorbency. Pockets allow me to add a flour sack cloth or a prefolds to my hemp or charcoal bamboo insert to keep us leak free. Can’t beat it.

3. What are the pros and cons of cloth diapering?

• Pros: Less to no diaper rash and you can save money if that’s what you need. I spent about $350 on my entire cloth diaper and wipe stash and accessories because I bought them used from a foster mom who barely got to use them before she was moved to fostering older children. That included 7 Fuzzibunz pockets perfect size small, 9 Happy Flute AIO OS, 5 Charlie Banana pockets OS, 32 Alva Baby pockets OS, 13 Charlie Banana microfiber inserts, 12 Alva Baby microfiber insets, 16 Alva Baby Charcoal bamboo inserts, 7 Fuzzibunz hemp inserts, 36 cotton cloth wipes, 4 small wet/dry bags, and 1 large wet bag. People pay

between $1000-$2000 a year on disposable diapers for one child. My cloth can be used for multiple children or treated and sold to someone to use. Cloth diapers are way better for the environment. Do you know where disposable are put once the trash system takes them from your home? Landfills of trash. Cloth diapering makes me better about doing my laundry. I have a lot of clothes and hated doing laundry. Prior to having a child and cloth diapering, I would wash clothes once a month. They are so stinking cute, you don’t have to buy a bunch of pants. Cloth diapers keep Paris’s butt warm and she doesn’t need pants.

• Cons You must wash and prep the diapers before easy use, you must do research to know how to properly clean and care for your diapers, and if you are like me and hate laundry, more laundry is always a con. Also, you will touch your child’s urine and feces. However, I’ve been told as a mother you must do this regardless. I’ve become immune. lol

4. What are the essentials for your cloth diapering kit? Home: • Pockets and inserts, Storage, Diaper pail with cover, Large wet bag, Flour sack and prefolds, Wipe warmer, Cloth wipes, My DIY wipe solution, and Microfleece diaper liners. Going out: • 2-4 cloth diapers (depending on the outing), small wet/dry bag to safely contain the soiled diapers, 8 cloth wipes in a sealed container pre-soaked in my DIY cloth wipe solution, a diaper bag with a changing pad built into it, extra Muslim cloth just in case, and a container with filtered water.

5. What is your most memorable cloth diapering moment (if any)? • We got my daughter a Black Panther cloth diaper from @nappybunz to go with my husband’s Black Panther cosplay for the movie premier.

6. What is one thing all moms/parents should know about cloth diapering? • It’s truly not nearly as hard as people make it seem and it’s so much better for your baby and the environment.

7. What is your fav cloth diaper brand? • For those going to cloth for affordability, Alva baby can’t be beat for cute prints, and decent pocket diapers at cheap prices ($6 or less). However, if price isn’t an issue, Little Llama Pants is a small business that makes outstanding diapers with the most adorable prints. https://www.etsy.com/shop/littlellamapant

I’m positive the questions asked only scratched the surface of all that you need to know about cloth diapering so go follow Natasha and shoot her a message she’s a mommy that understands the importance of teaching and inspiring! Natasha The Bonafide Moms Spot would like to thank you for sharing your clothing journey with all us moms!

The big return to work !

I have successfully transitioned back into the working realm. I was granted a total of five months leave of absense from work due to a few complications after birth . after all of that time getting back into a daily routine has been a definite adjustment, however I am happy to report the change has gone much soother than I anticipated. Just to give a quick share of my morning routine I wake up at about 5:50am, breastfeed Nova, gather everyone’s needed belongings for the day, and lastly I finally proceed to get myself dressed and ready to go. I cant stress enough how thankful I am for my significant other, While I am getting dressed he gets the kids ready to go and gives Taite his breakfast. This transition would have been such a task without his help. Team work definitely makes the dream work. It is imperative my family and I leave our home no later than 6:40am. Leaving at or before this time is the only way to avoid horrific Los Angeles, CA rush hour traffic. From the time I wake up until I make it home from work I am going; all gas no brakes which was one of my biggest concerns with coming back to work. all things considered I have realized our daily routine is not half as bad once you become accustomed to doing the same thing everyday. Long days were not my only worry. I thought about so many different ways me working could effect  my life negatively and never once considered that it may be more positive than negative. Truthfully non of the negative thoughts became a reality and returning to work has been good for me to get out the house seeing and talking to people on a daily bases. One big concern that had me beating myself way more than necessary was my depleting breast milk supply.

For most strictly or heavily breastfeeding moms sustaining flowing milk and having a plentiful frozen breast milk stash is essential for the big return to work. However, me on the other hand my flow and stash were both nonexistent. Regretfully I procrastinated with making sure I did what was necessary to ensure not only that Nova had enough breast milk through out day while I worked, but also to keep my milk production up. So here is the jaw dropper. I only had about 10oz of milk saved, and a whole can of Earths Best Organic Milk. Of course I was beyond concerned about Nova getting used to the formula and not wanting to accept breast milk anymore. Thankfully little Miss Nova prefers mommy milk which is such a breath of fresh air.

Currently I work at a hospital so when it comes to breastfeeding staff and management are extremely supportive. Before I returned to my scheduled shift I was able to visit the work and life matters office, and receive access to the lactation rooms of my choice. I go to the lactation room on my breaks; one 45minute break and two 10 minute breaks. I am so thankful for the management where I work because they allow me a little extra time to be able to pump my milk. Having a job where the staff is so supportive and understanding has made this journey so much easier because it relives me of the worry about loosing my milk due to not emptying.

Returning to work can cause much anxiety especially when you feel you could have been better prepared. I am here to assure you that whether you were fully prepared or not do not let your thoughts and feelings push you to give up. I almost said “forget it” on my first day back but I stuck it out instead. I want my mommies who are retuning to work to feel confident in their breastfeeding journey as a working mom. look at me! I went from having only 10oz of milk to now everyday I am restocking the freezer by at least three bags daily. In addition my milk production has improved tremendously. We have to start somewhere and late is always better than never or even giving up. shout out to all my super moms who were and are dedicated and able to get bags on top of bags saved for your little ones. Its not easy but you did it! If you ask me that’s an accomplishment. Mommies that are feeling discomfort at the thought of work don’t let your mind mislead you into thinking its going to be the worst. Its really not that bad. Lastly reach out to your jobs before you return if you haven’t already or if you just unsure or unaware about support and options for breast feeding employees.

Split: My uphill postpartum depression journey

Split: Legit how I feel today! I’ve been having so many good days physically, mentally, and spiritually that I have not taken the time to generate a new game plan for my icky days. Today I am split. Split because I’m vigorously fighting my mind that is straddling the fence of peace and agitation. My mind is tricky, in an instant a completely sinking and griping energy tightly clings to me in attempt to bring me down.

I despise days like this and I am speaking dominion over my mind. I claim nothing but positive energies, peace, blessings, faith, spiritual resilience, and the gospel of peace. I am in control. My postpartum journey has just began and this is the test. I will not fail I will remain focused, powerful, blessed, and in charge of what I accept into my space!

I am making it a point to share my true life postpartum depression journey with you all. I want you to know my journey is not perfect I still have short moments of despair. I am human and I am mother who is on a uphill battle. This is not intended to shed light on my undesirable moments. I want to help raise awareness and in doing so I choose to open up to the world about what this is like. I have a complete understanding that not everyday my mind will present me with tranquility. However, I have realized these are the days I will pray a little harder and smile a little bigger. These are the days when standing strong is key. I have to take power away from things and people who do not understand my evolution. I will remain submerged in prayer that’s my number one road to recovery.

I truly thank you all for following my journey and allowing me to share what is still kind of new to me. Blogging is so therapeutic for me. The fact that I can utilize my experience to help other moms understand they are not alone and life happens. Just know the way you choose to respond will make all the difference. I myself am still learning. One thing is for certain I know how to pray and that there is everything I will ever need.

Dear Society, Sincerely Breastfeeding Mother

Dear Society, 

   My name is Breastfeeding Mother, and I am trying to understand what has made you so insensitive to my hungry child. My breast is out for good reason. My child is starving and unfortunately her adjustable hunger settings are broken. Society, why should I apologize that the nourishment my child requires happens to spill from my breast. Why should I be ashamed of this beautiful gift. This gift gives my baby quality life, this gift aids her in developing far beyond her time. Do you not realize the power i poses as mother. I can fill my child’s belly with the best quality milk known to man. My milk replenishes to the custom need of my baby so there is always just enough. My milk supports her immune system making her stronger and better ready when its time to go to war with bacteria. My milk can transform itself when my she is sick, producing more of the healthy organisms necessary for battle. Society are you not impressed? Well okay, I get it. Just for you I will struggle to cover up as my baby screams…

                                                                               Sincerely, Breastfeeding Mother

If I were asked to write society a letter about two months ago it would have looked something like that. Breastfeeding is a very loaded topic and people always have so much to say about mothers and their feeding methods. Ive decided to add my two, maybe even three cents in and be a advocate for breastfeeding. I am so damn tired of being stared at in public by men and women when i take my tit out to feed my child. I expect it from small children but you adults should be ashamed of yourselves. I wish people would get educated on all the benefits of breastfeeding and realize how normal it is. Stop sexualizing breastfeeding. The issue in society today is that people associate breast and women as sexual beings, instead of acknowledging all the true magnificent capabilities the women body has. These breast that sit upon my chest are not here to be ranked on a scale of one to ten, they should not be stared at, or squeezed. Please understand when you see my nipple stretch as my baby cliches her jaw turning her head the opposite direction I am so not trying to be sexy, and that maneuver is not meant to get you excited in anyway. Understand that these boobs are fulfilling their main purpose which is to provide. Why is it such a big deal that i breastfeed in public. Im minding my business you should do the same. 

Breast feeding is normal, natural, and necessary. You should embrace me because i am a mother who has chosen better for her child. A mother that has taken the time to research. I am a mother who has sacrificed a set of perfect perky breast just to ensure my kid gets what is vital for her health. Embrace me as mother, goddess, queen, protector, and most importantly provider. Not all but most of the public has placed an expectation on mothers that completely disregards the spectacular job well done she has done. There is nothing gross about breastfeeding. I should not have to apologize for providing my child with a meal while shopping. Commend me rather then looking down upon me. Breastfeeding is not easy. When I m not dealing with the butt hole named Society, I am spending much of my time missing sleep, pumping, and catering to a baby that is dangling from my boob. Its not easy give me some credit . 

My letter to society is now different. I see breastfeeding for what it is instead of what it looks like. I don’t care about Society frowning, or whispering about me. In fact I am no longer asking society why they have such ignorant views about breastfeeding. I’ve even written a new letter to society and it reads … 

Dear Society, 

        My name is Breastfeeding Mother. I am writing you to say grow up! I no longer care to figure out why you speak on something you know nothing about. If me nourishing my child offends you I am not sorry. Society open your mind a little and realize I choose to breastfeed because its all about giving the best to my child. I don’t care that you are uncomfortable. Now give me 10 minutes ill be done soon. 

Sincerely , Breastfeeding Mother. 

Mommy Feature: Brianna K. The Gift of La Madrina

On October 23, 2013, at about 6 AM to the nerve-racking text that my childhood best friend Tyler, (since the 2nd grade!) was in labor with her very first child. Now the message was initially sent at about 3 AM, so you can imagine being a best friend, you’re having slight guilt trips about not being able to have answered that text the minute it came through. Nevertheless I was overjoyed because there was a little angel to be born, and I couldn’t wait to see his face!

    When I arrived to the hospital, I was met with her excited and anxious family members in the arrival room and they eagerly encouraged me to pay her a visit. I anxiously walked down the halls as this would be my first time actually being in someone’s delivery room, I didn’t know what to expect. The nurses kindly escorted me to her room, asked a few questions about the relation, and as I said hello to Tyler and check on her, her blood pressure started to rise. The nurses were on alert but reassured me that she was just excited, and I was too, but we all wanted her pressure down, so we agreed a more calm approach was just better, a little peace and quiet and making sure she is relaxed as possible. The wait continues, come on little Taite, we’re ready to meet you. Let’s just say that Taite sure was on his way and was doing it on his own terms. After about another couple of hours the delivering doctor came in to check how much Tyler had dilated so far, as much to his concern Taite was ready but headed the wrong way,and that’s when I was told of the news that she would be undergoing a cesarean procedure. Deep down I knew this isn’t what she wanted but I had to deliver to her family members to ensure a safe delivery. After a prayer and faithful heart, the family and I watched Tyler go off to the delivery room with her mom at her side.

   A final 19 hours later, a beautiful, sweet eyed Taite was here and had everyone’s heart on FULL.

   Prior to Tyler giving birth to Taite, the question of being a God Mother arose at her baby shower. Of course, I said yes. I kind of always knew I would be. LOL.

How could I not be? We’re talking almost 17 maybe 18 years of friendship so far. But anyway, I absolutely love being Taite’s La Madrina (which is Spanish for God Mother), when he was dedicated to God I solely and truly believed he was truly God’s angel, and it was meant for me to be in his life. I can tell you now to be going on 4 he has an intellect of a 14 year old, who is so sweet yet, comical, incredibly talented at everything he touches, and can make it very clear to you who should be the boss. (It’s him, he’s the real Boss Baby)

     Earlier this year Tyler was blessed twice around with another one of God’s Angels, Miss Nova Lynn. As agreed, upon her arrival it was a true reality check. But let me tell you my excitement when I found out she was having a girl. I was in bed, Tyler sent me a picture of the sonogram and texted “It’s a Girl!”

I literally jumped for joy.

1. Because she’s having a mini-me, it’s true “Thank heaven for little girls!”

and secondly because I just earned some store cash from a retailer I just shopped at which meant, I’m getting dressed and buying all new clothes for baby girl! Yes, I sent her pictures of the outfits I bought the same day and couldn’t wait for her to get her baby wardrobe together.

 Both of Nova’s parents thought I was too excited, and I was, I also work in retail so that means every chance I got at work I was shopping for the baby girl that would be here May 2017. Now let’s just say I have 2 little Boss Baby Angels that I have been blessed with, because Nova too like her brother decided she wanted to come when she wanted to, which happened to be May 6, 2017, right on time.

   Immediately upon Nova’s arrival she warmed everyone’s heart, she slept and remained unbothered by the world she just entered. As she is now 3 months old watching her grow and blossom and be loved by her parents and her big brother Taite, I know that the future of these beautiful babies will always be secure. The way their parents hustle and provide to make sure they have the very best and the initial love and support they are continuously a proven example for their children even at a young age. Watching Taite and Nova and being able to create a special bond with each of them is something that is forever irreplaceable. My heart is forever full knowing that they are here, and I have a special part in their life as a role model, friend, and special parent.

   To those that have been blessed to be apart of a child’s life you have to realize that is a huge honor. Knowing that someone looked to you as a capable and loving person who knows the sacrifices and special teachings required to train a child as a kind and confident human being. Knowing that you can be a shadow and a door of endless opportunity for their well being and the simple beauty in being able to grow with them and learn all new things and experiences that only a pure life exchange can give.

 Being a God Mother has really helped me understand the security of family. When it extends, your love extends and it was my place to humble myself in that. I’ve had to learn that I’m continually blessed to be an example and teacher and as long as I have someone that looks up to me I will always have a reason to make them smile.

God’s got something special for those Bonafide Babies Taite and Nova Lynn.

Please believe I’ll be there every step of the way supporting them!!

With Love,

Brianna Keaton

aka “Bianna” (in Taite’s voice)

Jewel of change !

Cutting my hair was somewhat of an impulsive change I made one day when I was secretly having a melt down. An action that was birthed from a moment of despair has blossomed into something so liberating. I feel empowered, confident, and nothing short of boss. My creative mind is running wild and everyday I become more comfortable with myself and trying new things. The power of change, the different aspects of change, and how amazing continuous elevation feels is very real . On my short blog hiatus I sat and thought a lot about the content and different topics that have been placed upon my heart to discuss. For this topic the first question I asked myself was what does my hair cut have to do with motherhood? The more I pondered on the question the quicker I realized that my haircut is much more than just a style. It is a symbol of improvement, confidence in myself, and new found creativity; in my opinion those are some of the most important characteristics that embody a mother! Being a mother is so much more than giving baths, changing diapers, taking care of a dependent, and so on. For my reality each pregnancy/child corrected me in a special way the first different from the second. God has gifted me with  two precious jewels each of a different kind, and he has crowned forever their protector. 

Taite is my jewel of strength, growth, and independence. I can say the amount of growth from January 2013 to this present time August 2017 is nothing but God. Taite is my foundation jewel. He has given me the strength (along with the support of my family), and the push to be a go getter. You know that wake up call that we get sometimes where all the messy facts are lined up right in-front of us? That call that tells us like it is, that we never really want to answer? Giving birth to Taite was the call I needed. I had no car, no job, wasn’t in school, and was staying with my grandparent when I came home from college. That was a time in my life I truly had to put my big girl panties on. I quickly came to the realization that there was not going to be anymore family doing everything for Tyler and treating her like a princess, this brought so much into perspective for me. My family supported me fully, however they made sure I knew there was a limit on the amount financial support they were providing. It took me all of a year an some change to make a complete 360 degree change ! I made goals for myself and executed each and every one. Everything I didn’t have I made sure I stayed focused to get. Before Taites second birthday we both had exceedingly exceptional health insurance, a very dependable car for transportation (in my name and only my name might I add) , and lastly but certainly not least a roof over our heads (that also had my name on it lol). I am now stronger then ever which sounds so cliche but I truly mean it, the amount of growth is astonishing and I am so proud of myself because I kept pushing full throttle. I just can’t get enough of the feeling of success. Most importantly I accepted that time in my life as something positive rather than negative and I will always identify those circumstances as a lesson. I learned how to hold the fort down, make short term sacrifices for long term outcomes, and make sure my unit is good if need be which to me is truly being a boss mom. 

My second child Nova is my jewel of confidence, neophilia (love for new things), and acknowledgment of the powers I pose as a queen. Carrying Nova was a different experience from Taite. With Nova I felt the change within me before she even took her first breath of air. In fact being pregnant with Nova is when I completely went for it and shaved the sides and back of my hair. That for me was the start of it all. Ive always had nice hair with a good length on it and I’ve always felt like my hair was the one thing that made me attractive. Despite being so into my hair I still would always get a urge to chop it all off. However, I never did because of the infamous comments “your hair is so pretty like it is”, or “you look better with long hair”. I have always cared to much about the opinions of others. All of that has changed since Nova. This jewel has brought me so much confidence and peace with myself. I no longer look for the approval of outsiders nor do I care about their opinions which is the best thing I could have ever let go of. I feel like weights have been lifted from my back and I am slaying the tasks God places in front of me. Since aiding  Nova in her transition into this realm of life I have completely shaved all my hair off and I couldn’t be happier. I love this identity, I identify this look as the Tyler that has broken free and is shining as bright as a Nova star. I can let negative comments simply roll from ones tongue and right off my the curviest region of my backside. I find myself becoming more and more social with complete strangers, signing up for things I would have never signed up for before, and simply just living the best life I can. I must add that accepting the self change that my jewels have presented to me even has my relationship flourishing with love, happiness, and peace (and thats all that needs to be said about that lmao). Nonetheless I know my two jewels are so precious because they were crafted special just for me. God new exactly what jewels of change were necessary for me, and he sent them down when he knew the time was right. My babies were right on time. My children make me better and better every day. They are the finest gems I can ever come in possession of and I am forever thankful. 

For all my soon to be mommies reading please embrace every emotion that comes with your pregnancy for I now realize that those were simply emotions of change for the better. Be accepting of the adjustments not only the literal that your mind and body are going through, but also the decorated change in which I am referring to in sharing my experience. Remember hosting the life of another who will bring out actions in you that you never knew you were capable of is incredible and sadly not all women get to experience it so be grateful for your capability and never take it for granted. For all my mothers who are seasoned. If you are fighting the change that is happening for you don’t!  Allow your precious jewel/s to be the instrument/s God crafted to heighten your capabilities. Allow them to fulfill one of their assigned purposes. You get better with time you are beautiful, you are capable of more then you know. Try things that make you uncomfortable. Discomfort is temporary however, experiences are forever.  

Peace, love, and overflowing blessings. #bonafidemoms 

In love with Traditional Medicinals organic Mother’s Milk tea!

Here is a special post for all my lactating mommies who may be having a little bit of difficulty with milk production. I myself very heavily breastfeed, however I do not consider myself to be exclusively breastfeeding. Nova’s dad and I give her a total of four ounces of Earths Best Organic formula throughout the week. We do this for many reason but mainly because I personally believe our little boobie babies become so attached to mommy that when its time for mom to get out for a breather the baby tends to be a little more fussy with the sitter. To avoid this i want her to be familiar with the way her organic formula taste if it ever comes down to her having to drink it. With that being said Nova is not to fond of drinking the formula. It takes a lot of patience and consistency to get her to drink it. Her doctor has recommended mixing breastmilk with formula which I have not yet done due to the amount of milk i was producing. Because I don’t give nova very much formula she is constantly on my breast which makes it difficult for me to pump because she is literally sucking me dry. Quite often I find myself searching the net for foods, and tricks to help boost my milk production; my favorite happens to be ice cream! I have very recently started drinking Traditional Medicinals women’s tea Organic Mother’s Milk, and i must say it has truly shocked me. Although i frequently breastfeed my dreaded menstrual cycle has returned which decreased my milk supply the day before and the first day of my cycle which absolutely devastated me. I drank the tea and roughly 40 minutes after the first cup my breast were spewing milk, and soaking my shirt. Sounds like a lot but for me it was a very satisfying moment. I recommend this tea for lactating mothers because it is very natural, helpful, and most importantly it taste good. Mothers Milk contains all herbal ingredients that have been around for centuries helping to promote healthy and plentiful lactation. Additionally id like to add that when it comes to teas i try to stay away from them because there are many many teas that contain caffeine, which is not the best  when breast feeding (take it from me I’ve made the mistake of drinking two whole bottles of Brisk Tea’s in one day recently). Mothers Milk tea is naturally caffeine free which is great! If you are looking for a organic breast milk promoting aid i definitely recommend This tea. Please remember my post are solely based upon my opinion, and if you believe otherwise please feel free to share. Also if you are familiar with some other alternatives to help us lactating mothers please share your knowledge as well. bonafide moms spot is accepting of all types of feed back so lets talk!!!! 

Hello all my fabulous Bonafide Moms!

Greetings to all my beautiful, strong, bonafide moms! My name is Tyler E. Johnson, I am the author and founder of The Bonafide Mom’s Spot blog. Just to give a brief background of myself I am 24 years young and I’ve been blessed with the pleasure of being the mother of two amazing little souls that are the light of my life. My three year old little boy Taite William keeps me on the tips of my toes, and my two month old little girl Nova Lynn is the perfect balance for her brother, she has the most peaceful spirit you’d ever want to encounter. I work full-time (currently on maternity leave), and also plan to start school this coming fall semester. Yes my life is busy busy busy but I’ve learned to balance all things very well! I have been diagnosed with Postpartum depression and it is definitely a every day battle with self. I am freely sharing a little bit about myself because it has given me much motivation to start this blog. My main goal is to be able to reach at least one mom like myself that may be struggling with similar or even different hardships. Funny thing about life is it works itself out in very mysterious ways, everything happens for a reason and I am beyond thankful for the things that have taken place in my life within the last year. Above all I am most thankful for the extremely uncomfortable events, they have made me stronger and truly showed me that I am capable of doing phenomenal things even on my most difficult days. what doesnt  kill us only makes us stronger. Without my two beautiful babies, this very common PPD diagnosis, and God instilling this vision within me I would not have thought of starting this blog as a therapeutic outlet for myself and others. The Bonafide Mom’s Spot is judgment free and wants all mothers to know you are not alone, your are a beautiful, super soul, and you are stronger than you believe. I will be writing about mom life, and the many positive moments we deal with daily, but also the hard to handle events that may have us feeling alone, less than, unwanted, or even unaccomplished. This blog is a release of all those feelings, a space to write it all out. In addition this space serves as a place for myself and other moms to provide advise to one another, chat it up, and share the stories that make us as mothers chuckle, or bust out in rib cage busting laughter at the organic things that our little bonafide babies do in their innocence. In the very near future I will be hosting Bonafide mommy outings, and mom focus/support groups (more details soon to come). I hope all who follow enjoy and gain something positive from my blogging journey. Peace, love, and overflowing blessings! #bonafidemoms